Controlling Stress Internally and Externally

Ironically National Stress Awareness Month provided me with more external stressors in a 30-day period than I can recall in a decade. My role as general contractor on the remodeling of our house that was mentioned in our last article continued. It was a 7-day a week siege by a small army of sub-contractors. Simultaneously I had a publishing deadline for my first book Redefining Work-Life Balance of April 30th and with my team was committed to a full slate of client projects. In addition there were meaningful family celebrations and some challenges.

As a consequence I was able to put the stress management tools and techniques we teach and practice with our clients to full use. Here are the lessons I learned and techniques I found most helpful to keep the negative stressors in check and retain a clearer head for the cascade of daily decisions required.

Managing the Internal

The key message April’s stressors drove home to me is that attaining and maintaining control of your internal self is the most important aspect of managing the stressors generated from your external demands.

It was clear that investing time in managing my internal well-being increased my overall average efficiency and enjoyment quotient for the day. Investing 30 minutes to an hour or so in tuning up my internal physiology and psychology made my whole being function much more effectively, happily and with less stress the remainder of the day. On the days I skipped doing my internal managing because I was “too busy” I was much less effective overall.

The best internal well-being, stress-relieving techniques for me are cardio vascular exercise, particularly walking, and yoga. The yoga techniques I practice primarily are stretching, breathing, chanting, meditation and my favorite form of meditation, a nap.

I don’t think napping is actually an official part of any yoga practices, but it can be very powerful when you need it. On days when the “tireds” are causing your thinking to be fuzzy try napping. Find a place you can lie down or lean back and close your eyes. You may find it produces much better outcomes than caffeine, especially for relieving stress. For me 60 seconds to 15 minutes of shut eyes and/or sleep relaxes and refreshes my brain and emotional capacities for the remainder of the day. Like some of the most accomplished figures in history, John F. Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison and Salvador Dali, amongst others, I find that when I open my eyes the solution to a vexing decision is often clear. You may find the same is true for you. I am also rested.

I found that even light cardio and simple yoga stretching and chanting made me much more inclined to eat healthy and practice good sleep hygiene as well, two other important elements for maintaining a healthy inner self.

The key point: Routinely practicing techniques for your internal well-being helps prevent the exploding external stimuli and stressors of today from creating a void in your inner being and life motivation.

Managing the External Demands

But…the external demands and stressors don’t go away and need to be managed. During this especially hectic month I reduced my negative stressors by the use of the WIN® and AM & PM®, tools you may remember from previous articles. WIN (Write It Now) in your calendar on the day you intend to do it kept commitments from falling through the cracks and stressing me out more. Mentally using AM & PM. (Activity of the Moment and Person of the Moment) helped me stay focused in the present and not constantly worried about what needed to be done next.
But the star technique for the month was the basic process of Listing & Prioritizing. Here is a reminder of its simple steps.

The List and Prioritize Method

1. Choose one important work or personal project you need to complete

2. List all the things you can think of that are necessary to get done to complete the project

3. Prioritize each option as an A, B, or C.
A –“Will do.” B – “Could do.” C – “Probably won’t do.”

4. Prioritize each “A” option as A1, A2, A3, etc.

5. WIN – Write at least your A1 action in your calendar now, on the day you will do it.

This is a thinking method that has been around forever, is deceptively simple and exceptionally effective.

Here’s a portion of what was on our remodel project priority list midway through, except it ran to 30 plus items that were checked off and added to daily.

A1 Create daily pile to take to Goodwill
A2 – Schedule showers to be painted. No one in house for the day.
A3 – Decide design for front door and set date to install
A4 Decide color front door and trim paint
A5 Buy light fixtures and fans for all rooms
A6 Have crew paint fireplace insert in great room
A7 Confirm date for floor refinishing – Stay off floors 24 hours
B2 Mailbox pressured washed

My wife and I met each morning to check off, add to and agree on items to be done that day. This process kept us sane because we did not have to worry about 30 to 40 items pending. Instead we focused each day only on the next most important A priorities. But to do that YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THE NEXT MOST IMPORTANT PRIORITES ARE. Listing and Prioritizing does that for you.

My April made me very aware and appreciative of these techniques for managing a deluge of external stressors. I encourage you to utilize them yourself. But to use these external techniques most effectively you must first manage your internal well-being.

So April’s most important stress awareness lesson: Make sure you develop the habit of doing something truly good for your inner self every day.

Jim Bird
Publisher

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